The Power of Prayer (Forgiveness)

Recently I found myself very disappointed in someone I considered a good friend. They did something to me that I felt (and still feel) was totally unacceptable and it was hard for me to swallow. I knew that I needed to forgive them and let it go but I just couldn't wrap my head around it at the time.

Not wanting to hold a grudge, I began to quote any and every scripture I could remember (and maybe a few I made up) on forgiveness. But it seemed the moment I stopped quoting scripture, I got mad all over again.

Throughout that week, I kept rehearsing what happened and when I shared it with my husband and my sister, I got even angrier - it was like every time I told the story, the fire was being fueled. So I decided that I needed to stop talking about it because that was not helping the situation.

I'm sure you have all been there before ...maybe it wasn't a friend, perhaps it was a sibling, a co-worker, a neighbor or even someone at church. Whoever it was, they crossed you in some form or fashion and raised your blood pressure. You found yourself on this never ending cycle of anger because you couldn't quite let it go.

In time, I realized that forgiveness is very hard in our own power... and at some point, I cleared my head and took it to God in prayer ...and yet again, God amazed me with his ability to bring an inner peace in the midst of any situation.

Prayer is by far the greatest weapon we have. Prayer causes you to change your perspective on things.

While in prayer, God reminded me of the many times I had turned my back on Him. The many times I had disappointed Him. Yet, not once has He held back his forgiveness towards me.

He also reminded me that no one except Him is flawless, so I must not put people on a pedestal or expect them to never let me down. Yes, we expect certain things like respect from our friends, however at some point, we have probably all disrespected someone we cared about. How is it that we expect people to always be willing to forgive us but when the tables are turned - watch out!

Through prayer, I realized it was alright for me to be hurt by the situation, but it wasn't alright for me to dwell there. God healed my wounds and gave me the courage to step back out and not allow this situation to dictate my mood, attitude or behavior towards the person who offended me.

There is something to be said about the power of prayer ...next time I won't wait so long to use it!




Written by Tanya James, Founder and president of The Master Plan. Tanya James is the author of From Promiscuity to Proverbs 31: Getting Off the Fence of Sexual Immorality. For more information about Tanya, log onto www.armedanddangerous.biz or www.themasterplan.biz.

Karma…does it always apply?

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This week’s topic of the week…Karma…does it always apply?

I mean…negative things happening…does that always bring negative things back around?

I read this story in Cosmopolitan about four best friends…one was about to get married…they had a bachelorette party. At the home the girl grew up in. There was a pool in the back yard. All four of the girls grew up playing in this pool. Their favorite thing was to push each other in the pool and splash water on each other when someone was trying to stay dry for whatever reasons.

Anyway, at the bachelor party they had fun with each other as always, but this particular time, when the girl who was getting married the next day, got slightly nudged into the pool…she fell awkward and hit her head. Her body went numb. She floated to the surface and realized she could not feel anything. She was paralyzed. She missed the wedding, because she was in the hospital for the next five months. Ten years later she is still in a wheelchair, but she got married anyway and is celebrating the tenth anniversary of marriage and the accident.

I wanna know if you could forgive your best friend? You know the push was innocent. You know it was no harder than you all had done a hundred times before, but that one time…changed your life forever. I don’t mean forgive her, because you know it’s the right thing to do…but, forgive her because you know it hurt her just as much as it hurt you. It changed her life…just as it changed yours. Will you secretly hate her in the back of your mind when you have to summon help…just to wash yourself?

Even more so, if it happened to your husband or wife, to be…would you still marry them? Would you love them the same? Could it be…still, to death do us part? No matter what changed or how hard it got…would you stand by their side?

Tough…huh? Karma

A Stumper of A Question

This post is courtesy of I Spy God

One Sunday afternoon, my kids told me they asked their Sunday school teacher a question that she didn’t know the answer to.

“What did you ask them?!!”  I blurted out, slightly fearful of what topic they dared to breach…
“Does God love the devil?”
Wow.
Now there’s a question.
I can only assume that the Sunday school “teacher” they asked was one of the teen helpers and not the actual teacher, because I am sure the teacher has an answer to their question…but it made me think and wonder if what I thought was correct.
“Well, what do you think?” I asked back
“NO!” they almost simultaneously screamed… “he’s bad and so naughty!”
Great point.
Great question.
Does God love the devil?

“And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good…”   Genesis 1:31

God made the devil.  And if he made the devil, then the devil is part of the “everything” Genesis 1:31 is talking about.

“… You have made heaven, the heaven of heavens, with all their host, the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them; and you preserve all of them …”   Nehemiah 9:6

“For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.”   Colossians 1:16

The devil was the most beautiful of God’s angels.

 “You were the signet of perfection, full of wisdom and perfect in beauty. You were in Eden, the garden of God; every precious stone was your covering, sardius, topaz, and diamond, beryl, onyx, and jasper, sapphire, emerald, and arbuncle; and crafted in gold were your settings and your engravings. On the day that you were created they were prepared. You were an anointed guardian cherub.”   Ezekiel 28:12-15

And as with all of God’s creation, He allows free will, and like the Coke Zero commercials, the devil wanted more.

“How you are fallen from heaven, O Day Star, son of Dawn! How you are cut down to the ground, you who laid the nations low! You said in your heart, ‘I will ascend to heaven; above the stars of God I will set my throne on high; I will sit on the mount of assembly in the far reaches of the north; I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.’ But you are brought down to Sheol, to the far reaches of the pit.”   Isaiah 14:12-15

And again as with all creation, choices come with consequences… the devil and his angels were punished.

“… God did not spare angels when they sinned, but sent them to hell, putting them into gloomy dungeons to be held for judgment;”   2 Peter 2:4

But praise the One who is forgiving and longs for us to accept it.

“The LORD is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made.”   Psalm 145:9
“… not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.”  2 Peter 3:9

“Yes” I said.

“…  God is love.”   1 John 4:8

Block Haters

 
The Christian that turns their nose up to other Christians that are not in their opinion saved enough or saved at all are not being godly or spiritual, but they are in fact being worldly (ungodly).

Whether you turn your nose up in private or prideful in public, God still sees the direction in which it’s in.
Good relationships are hard to come by and keep when your heart is rooted and grounded in prideful, judgmental hate.

If this is you, do everyone a favor and start loving yourself so that you may love others and God.

1 John 4:19-21
 We love, because He first loved us. If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also.


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God!!!!! Im Lonely

There are times when I just feel low. When I feel as if no one around me is truly seeing me, and recognizing what I am going through. I imagine that if I died at that given moment, no one would care except for my immediate family.

I sure your reading this and thinking, “Wow!! What an emo post. ” But I sure that everyone has moments like this, when you just feel disconnected from the world around you.  When you think that everyone is treating or looking at you differently because of a wrong you committed.

Fortunately, a recent passage I read in devotion makes me hopeful. I will keep this passage in my memory bank for hard times.  The passage is from Deuteronomy 32:10, and highlights the fact that despite how horrible we are (or think we are) there is someone out there that loves us unconditionally and is always with us.

“In a desert land he found him,
in a barren and howling waste.
He shielded him and cared for him;
he guarded him as the apple of his eye…”

~Deuteronomy 32:10 NIV

This text refers to Jacob, Jacob the deceiver; Jacob the con artist; Jacob the thief. A coward who decides to flee from the drama he orchestrated. Despite this, Jacob is someone God went looking for. In the desert where he hides, God comes to him and shields him from harm. In spite of all his crimes God still sees him as the apple of his eye.

After reading this passage, I compared myself to Jacob. I wanted to see the differences between us but then realized that there is no difference.  NOTHING….how many times do I envy someone for something I lack? How often do I do subtle things to bring others down to the level I feel they should be? (Yes, I am horrible)

However, through all this, God is reaching out for me. He is searching for me in the wasteland of my sinful, blemished life.  He is caring for me, shielding me from harm. Despite my nasty (selfish) character traits, God still sees me (and you) as the apple of his eye.

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A Brutally Honest Letter to God

A young lady I have a blogging friendship with posted this and I found it so touching and felt so many may be able to relate in one way or another that I had to share. All of her post are so honestly revealing so if you get a chance check out her blog but for now I share this post:

My Brutally Honest Open Letter to God

written by Paramourinwaiting

Dear God,

I don’t know how to address you, especially after all this time. I can’t imagine you this bearded old man (or woman) in the sky. I can’t imagine you perched in pages of someone’s testament. I can’t imagine you in a deep and unfamiliar voice that boldly sprouts from nowhere. So I write to you instead. My mother used to write you. She never knew this but as a child, I used to read her letters to you in her Bible. I know that was a violation of privacy but I’ve always been in love with words penned on pages. They tend to be more candid—or at least in our case. Her letters were uplifting and full of wonder; other broke my heart. Her faith quivered but I could tell that it was still there. I probably also thought that I could understand you more through her.

My parents always spoke of religion and you interchangeably but I could never fully embrace it. There seemed to be so many holes in religion and I feared coming off as the spawn of the devil if I dared to ask. A part of resented them for making me believe in notions that I did not seem to cling to. They seem so stifling and I imagined you as free and uninhibited as my thoughts. I’ve seen you in contagious laughs and spellbinding smiles of children, in kind eyes, in good thoughts and deeds, in poetry, in music, in art, in tears, in happiness, in every “I love you”, in every changing season—somewhere in the stillness swirling furiously and touching everything and everyone that crossed your path.

I guess you’ve noticed that we haven’t talked much in a while. I think I brushed off nearly all of your presence after you did not come when I needed you the most—as I was being raped. I began to see you differently. But I did talk to you sporadically—mostly as a promiscuous teen begging not to become pregnant. I promised that I would change my ways if you just granted this one prayer. That one prayer morphed into several more. It was our recurring storyline. I eventually realized that perhaps this wasn’t the type of prayer that you really wanted to hear. I mainly saw you as the modern day Plan B pill. I did not take you seriously. I saw you as a convenience and wondered if I somehow became a nuisance—an ungrateful child tugging on you.

When my sanity fluctuated, I asked you why I was born. I never hesitated to let you know how much I hated fragments of myself and life. After a couple of half-hearted suicide attempts as a teen, I contemplated a nonexistence throughout my entire adulthood. My guilt, self-destructive behaviors, and the lack of courage were the driving forces that kept me here (or so I thought). I wanted to prove to you that you weren’t as awesome as others pegged you out to be. I decided to disregard you. I rarely thanked you. I infrequently acknowledged you. I silently mocked those who were delirious in their love for you. You were that elephant in the room that I made sure I always tiptoed around in the dark to avoid. They say elephants never forget; neither did I no matter how hard I tried.

I was humiliated. I knew if I faced you, I would reek of disappointment. Disappointment would ooze from my pores and flood my entire being. I could picture the literal disgust on your figurative face. I could imagine you holding your nose and avoiding all eye contact. I had to spare myself from further embarrassment. I’m so filthy and can’t possibly see myself in you. Sure, I have some noble qualities but not too much of me is pure—especially my intentions. I am always faltering. I can’t even trust myself sometimes. You’ve tried to reach me through others. I’ve watched their lips move but wasn’t open to the vessel of truths that cascaded from them. You felt inaccessible to me. It’s like you’re in the VIP section and I’m on the outside watching you fulfill others because I was not properly dressed to grace your presence. It’s like you’re flying first class and I achingly peer through the curtains to see others licking their lips from the champagne of your being. I feel as though I cannot afford you. I feel spiritually bankrupted. I feel snubbed. Maybe I’m the one who has been snubbing you this entire time and for that I am sorry.

I am finding my way back to you. I’ve been away for far too long. Please forgive me for resenting you all these years. Please help me to forgive myself. Help me heal so I can forgive others. Help my find purpose. Help me to love myself. Help me to live my life without fear because I feel so consumed by it. Help me see the splendor of life. Save me from my destructive behaviors and thoughts. Lift me up because I’m tired of falling apart at the seams. I’m tired of doing this without you. I’ve treated you and myself with reckless abandon. I need help to make it up to the both of us. Thank you for the things that you’ve already done for me that I have so blatantly ignored. I will be more appreciative and receptive towards you.

With Love,

Nisha

 

Scripture Meditation

When my soul fainted within me I remembered the LORD: and my prayer came in unto thee, into thine holy temple– Jonah 2:7

Prayer can take us from hell to heaven in the blink of an eye.

Here Jonah had run away from God, disobeying His command to preach to Israel’s enemies in the city of Nineveh. Jonah’s ship was therefore caught in the midst of a great storm that God brought his way. Jonah was famously thrown from the ship and swallowed by a great fish.

As he languishes in the unimaginable discomfort and horror of the fish’s belly, Jonah describes himself as being in “the belly of hell” (2:2). Jonah was in this predicament because of his own disobedience and rebellion. He felt as though he had been cast away from the presence and watch care of God (2:4). Yet, he says, “I will look again toward thy holy temple.”

When we find ourselves suffering for our own sins, we are sometimes tempted to avoid God. Out of a sense of guilt, or pride, or embarrassment we turn away from God rather than turning to Him in prayer.

But, as Jonah observed, afflictions are sometimes sent to draw us to God, to deliver us from our sinful path: “I cried by reason of mine affliction unto the LORD.” The very affliction is what brought Jonah to cry out to God.

God has never yet turned away any sinner who prayed to Him in repentance. Jonah found that, even as he suffered “in the belly of hell” he was able, through prayer, to come to God in His holy temple.

If you find yourself far away from God today, rush into His presence through prayer and bask in the glow of His abundant forgiveness and love.

Courtesy of A Good Thing

Unjust Treatment

“When Jesus heard that John had been put in prison, he withdrew to Galilee.” Matthew 4:12

There are days of mistreatment that come from disloyal and jealous people. Sometimes good people experience bad consequences, so that the glory of God can be made known through their lives. John boldly took a public stand for his faith and was punished for his courageous obedience to God. Do you feel like you have been wronged for doing right? Has your faith been put on trial and were you convicted for speaking the truth?

Your circumstance of ill treatment may not result in a physical rescue from Christ. It is in your trapped condition that He wants your intimacy with Him to grow deeper and sweeter. Your authorities at work may have broken a promise or used an unscrupulous process to get their desired results. You feel used and abused. So how will you respond? Will you return evil for evil, or will you extend grace in the face of extreme frustration?

“Do not repay evil for evil”… “If your enemy is hungry, feed him: if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head” (Romans 12:17a, 20). A radical response of love is a remedy for being isolated by an unjust person.

What are you learning as a result of feeling rejected or misunderstood? Has your determination grown in its resolve and do you have more focused attention on the mission of the organization? Loss of freedom and/or resources aligns us back to the essentials of an effective strategy and efficient execution.

Use this time of limited options to build sustainable systems and the most productive processes. Cling to your core values as your compass for behavior. Your optimism is an insurgent against others’ insecurities. Lastly, let the Lord be your source of strength. Faith forged on the anvil of adversity becomes solid steel in mental toughness, emotional stability and spiritual maturity.

When people see Jesus in your humble, non-defensive attitude they hear His voice of truth. Learn your lessons from the Lord during stressful situations and leave it with Him to change others as to what needs to be done. Humility pays off with respect and results.

Am I consumed with trusting Christ or with my unjust treatment? How can I, by God’s grace, love the unlovely?

Related Readings: Psalm 23; Psalm 109:5; 2 Timothy 3:2; Revelation 7:12

Forgiveness in Stone

Two friends were walking through the desert, during some point of the journey, they had an argument; and one friend slapped the other one in the face.

 

The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand.  Today my best friend slapped me in the face.

They kept on walking, until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath.  The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but was saved by the friend.

After recovering from the near drowning, the friend wrote on a stone:   “Today my best friend saved my life.”

 

The friend who had slapped and saved the best friend asked, “After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?  

 

The friend replied ‘when someone hurt you we should write it down in sand, where winds of forgiveness can erase it away’.  But when someone does something good for you, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.  

Learn to write your hurts in the sand, and to carve your blessings in stone.

Forgiving Your Parents

Forgiving our parents is a core task of adulthood, and one of the most crucial kinds of forgiveness. We see our parents in our mates, in our friends, in our bosses, even in our children. When we've felt rejected by a parent and have remained in that state, we will inevitably feel rejected by these important others as well.
 

But letting our parents off the hook, psychologist Robert Karen says, is the first step toward happiness, self-acceptance and maturity. Here are some thoughts to help the healing begin:

Resolve resentment.
Nursing resentments toward a parent does more than keep that parent in the doghouse. We get stuck there, too, forever the child, the victim, the have-not in the realm of love. Strange as it may seem, a grudge is a kind of clinging, a way of not separating, and when we hold a grudge against a parent, we are clinging not just to the parent, but more specifically to the bad part of the parent. It's as if we don't want to live our lives until we have this resolved and feel the security of their unconditional love. We do so for good reasons psychologically. But the result is just the opposite: We stay locked into the badness and we don't grow up.

Develop realistic expectations.
The sins of parents are among the most difficult to forgive. We expect the world of them, and we do not wish to lower our expectations. Decade after decade, we hold out the hope, often unconsciously, that they will finally do right by us. We want them to own up to all their misdeeds, to apologize, to make heartfelt pleas for our forgiveness. We want our parents to embrace us, to tell us they know we were good children, to undo the favoritism they've shown to a brother or sister, to take back their hurtful criticisms, to give us their praise.

Hold on to the good.
Most parents love their children, with surprisingly few exceptions. But no parent is perfect—which means that everyone has childhood wounds. If we're lucky, our parents were good enough for us to be able to hold on to the knowledge of their love for us and our love for them, even in the face of the things they did that hurt us.

Foster true separation.
To forgive is not to condone the bad things our parents have done. It's not to deny their selfishness, their rejections, their meanness, their brutality, or any of the other misdeeds, character flaws, or limitations that may attach to them. It is important to separate from our parents—which is to stop seeing ourselves as children who depend on them for our emotional well-being, to stop being their victims, to recognize that we are adults with some capacity to shape our own lives and the responsibility to do so.

Let your parents back into your heart.
When we do that, we can begin to understand the circumstances and limitations they labored under, recognize the goodness in them that our pain has pushed aside, feel some compassion perhaps, not only for the hard journey they had but also for the pain we have caused them.

Commit to the journey.
Getting to a forgiving place, finding the forgiving self inside us, is a long and complicated journey. We have to be ready to forgive. We have to want to forgive. The deeper the wound, the more difficult the process—which makes forgiving parents especially hard. Along the way, we may have to express our protest, we may have to be angry and resentful, we may even have to punish our parents by holding a grudge. But when we get there, the forgiveness we achieve will be a forgiveness worth having.

From the May 2003 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine

What a Hamburger Can Teach You About Forgiveness

I once made a disastrous mistake and asked my husband, Dave, for the last bite of his hamburger. If there’s anything hard for a man to sacrifice, it's that last bite. It's much easier to give somebody the first bite because he still has so much of it left, but when he’s down to the last bite, it's tough. I didn't realize before how much of a test it could be, especially for Dave.
Our exchange began as usual, with his offer, "I'm going to stop here and get a hamburger. Do you want one?"
"No, no, no. I don't want anything."
"Are you sure you don't want anything? Let me get you one."
I firmly said, "Dave, I don't want a hamburger."
He said, "I'll eat what's left."
I said, "I do not want a hamburger."
"OK."
He bought a hamburger, and it smelled so good. I waited and waited, trying my best not to ask for a bite of that hamburger. But he got down to the last bite, and I couldn't stand it.
I asked, "Do you suppose I could have that last bite?"
Dave got upset with me and huffed, "Why didn't you let me get you a hamburger?! I’ll buy you all the hamburgers you want. Why do you only want to eat mine?"
"It's only one bite!" I defended. "You don't have to be so selfish!"
He said, "All right! Here it is."
I said, "Nope, I don't want it! I wouldn't eat that hamburger now! You couldn't pay me to eat that bite of hamburger!"
He said, "You eat this!"
I said, "I'm not eating it!"
He said, "You eat it!"
I said, "I will not!"
"Well, I'm not eating it,” Dave replied, “so you might as well." So I took it, shoved it in my mouth and chewed it up.

I was upset not only because Dave had hurt my feelings, but also because I’d compared the way he treated me to the way I saw other men treat their wives. I said, "Well, other men give their wives bites of their food. I just ask you for one stinkin' bite of your hamburger, and you throw a fit!" I was mad for about an hour after that argument.

It takes a little while for the Lord to get through to us when we’re enjoying our vengeance and self-pity, just as I was. But finally I started feeling the Lord deep within me saying, "Joyce, you are acting ridiculous. The man told you he would buy you a whole sack of hamburgers if you wanted them."

Dave had offered to buy me a hamburger even if I wanted just one bite of it. He’d clearly asked me in advance not to ask for his. It doesn't matter what other men do. Sharing that last bite of hamburger bothered Dave. The person to whom you are comparing your spouse probably has some faults your spouse doesn't have that would drive you crazy and be just as difficult to accept. What's the sense in pushing something on your spouse if it bothers them? Just don't do it.

Marriages are not as good as they could be when people hold on to little things that have hurt or offended them. It’s difficult to completely open yourself up after being hurt because you’re afraid you’ll be hurt again. Nobody can promise that loving someone won't hurt. In fact, you can't love without being willing to be hurt. It's not possible.

You can't have real love unless you’re willing to forgive. Love keeps giving the other person another chance. Love keeps trusting them over and over again, expecting them to do the right thing the next time. I realize there are big hurts and also little things we deal with daily. Sometimes we may not even know what is agitating us, but we need to decide to let go of its irritating hold on us.

Ask the Lord to reveal what it was that caused you to feel bitterness or resentment. You may be surprised at what He drags up, but when you see the truth, decide to let go of that grief. Decide to forgive the person who didn't respond to you in the right way.

It took me several days to completely get over the hamburger incident. That's the truth! My feelings had been hurt because Dave didn't want me to have that bite of his hamburger. But I had to get over it and move on. Don't trade your happiness for a bite of hamburger! Forget what lies behind and press on to what lies ahead. 

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This article by Joyce Meyer is taken from Joyce's audio teaching, Do Yourself a Favor...Forgive.